HIV Diagnosis Stories
15.01.14
Alex Sparrowhawk
I was holidaying in the south of France when on the last day I started to feel really unwell as we drove leisurely along to coast to Nice Airport. I presumed at the time that I’d spent too much time in the sun trying to top up my tan. At the back of my mind I was worried it could be connected to other symptoms I’d noticed and intended to visit the GUM clinic.
Back in the UK I found out that I had contracted two STIs and had treatment for them, as part of the usual sexual health tests at the clinic I also had a HIV test, the result of this came back negative. I was still unwell though and ended up being confined to my bed for two weeks. At the time there was a lot of media hype about swine flu, I thought about the possibility of HIV as well; I was aware that the test wouldn’t have picked up anti-bodies if I had been infected within the past three months. It was easier to presume I had just picked up an illness abroad; perhaps the air-con on the plane was circulating a bunch of nasty cold bugs.
The next few months passed by with nothing out the ordinary happening, I was getting up to the usual things any gay 24 year old would in a city like Manchester, working 9-5 and enjoying my weekends going out with friends. One constant that had remained with me since the summer was a chesty cough, my GP had kept telling me it would eventually go away and it was probably a persistent virus. I didn’t even realise I still had it by October, it had become so normal. A friend I hadn’t seen for a few weeks picked up on it and I started to think about going back for another test at the clinic. I intended to rule HIV out unfortunately the opposite happened. I received the positive diagnosis on the 6th November 2009. Before the end of the year I was on medication and within three months achieved an undetectable viral load and my CD4 had increased to a level where my body was better equipped to respond to an infection or viral attack.
Fast forward four years and I’m a normal, happy, healthy guy. I met my boyfriend shortly after my diagnosis, I’m still working and I’m still enjoying life with my friends and family. HIV is a manageable condition when you know your status and when, if needed, you’re prescribed the antiretroviral medication. I took another big step a year ago by outing myself to ‘everyone’ as HIV positive. I believe I’m living proof that with medication you can live the life you intended as long as you are aware you have HIV. I am focusing my efforts to help fight against the stigma, fear and ignorance that people living with HIV face.
My advice to anyone who is unsure of their status would be to listen to your body, if I had continued to ignore the signs and bury my head in the sand the past three years could have been a very different story. Know your status, get tested. Medication is available for you and continues to improve all the time and people like me are fighting for a tolerant society where HIV positive people can live in a world without facing prejudice and bigotry.
Name: Alex Sparrowhawk
Age: Unknown
Bio: Originally from the South East of England, Alex now lives in Manchester. For the past four years he has been living with HIV and the last year of that openly and with no shame.
Alex writes his own blog which you can find here
You can follow Alex on twitter @birdy_tweet
12.01.14
Stuart Mullen
I was diagnosed HIV+ on 23rd September 2013. I was really unwell just over 2 weeks beforehand; this was blamed on my eczema being infected. I didn't agree with this however doctors know best. Or do they?
The moment I was told will be with me for the rest of my life. I couldn't wait to leave the hospital but I didn't know where to go or who to turn to. Bizarrely, I knew a friend was on nightshift the night before and very close by. I text him to meet me in half an hour. I headed to the meeting point and saw him from across the road and burst into tears. We went for a pint and I broke the news. He was amazing and very reassuring. I managed to calm myself down.
I went for a walk around Newcastle Quayside and around the bridges taking photos. I sent a text to the creator of this site telling him. His replies still make me well up now. It was a beautiful day. When I arrived home, I crawled into bed and cried and cried and cried some more. I pulled myself together and started to seek support. Registering on the THT myHIV forums and talking to people who have been there was one of the best things I did.
Over the next few days I made the massive decision of informing work and more importantly my family. One of the hardest conversations was telling my Mam. I will never forget how hard that was but the relief of telling people was massive. I was starting to build a support network.
Attending my first appointment with the HIV consultant was one of the most nerve wracking experiences and it made it all the more real. This wasn't going to go away.
I started to blog. I wanted to face this head on and take control. This wasn't and isn't going to beat me. I started to disclose to more people. It was a relief to tell people, to gain support and have somewhere to turn to when emotions got the better of me. They still do. It's not easy and I still struggle to contain my emotions but it is getting easier. There are times it feels very surreal, that I am living someone’s life but this is my life.
I attended a recently diagnosed weekend in Stafford with people who were diagnosed as recently as me, whilst others had been living anything up to 2-3 years with the virus. This was a massively emotional and challenging weekend but one that helped me in coming to terms with my diagnosis. I would recommend anyone to attend this.
Just before World Aids Day, I posted on my Twitter and Facebook accounts that I was HIV+. The messages of support were incredible and I am grateful for this.
Slowly as time has gone on from my diagnosis I have done my best to get on with my life as I was before. It’s not always been easy. My emotions have been all over. I can spend days being ok then my mood crashes but I am getting there. I am determined to be in control of the virus. I feel by taking control it will not rule my life. Despite my initial worries my life is not over.
The biggest step in taking control of this was asking about starting medication. I wanted to do everything I could to ensure the best prospects for my future. My CD4 was 304, which would normally mean starting medication would be recommended however by asking this prompted the decision to start medication. A combination was chosen and I left the hospital with 3 months’ supply. Taking the first tablets was me admitting to myself that I was positive. It was a massive relief to get blood results 3 weeks later showing I was heading very quickly towards being undetectable.
It’s the start of 2014 and although I know the road ahead is bumpy everything is going the right way. Of course I wish I wasn't HIV+ but the best thing to have come out of this whole experience is the friendships I have made. I have friends for life; we can turn to each other on the down days and support each other.
Name: Stuart Mullen
Age: 31
Bio: Living just outside of Newcastle-upon-Tyne. Taking my first tentative steps into my new positive world exploring and adjusting to life as an HIV+ gay man.
You can follow Stuart on twitter @newlypositive